DAY 1 The Secret Is Out

So here goes – My first blog ever!! I’m not the best writer but I have a story I want to share with you. It’s a secret story. It all began back in 2003. Back then I was a girl who started a new relationship with a guy & also shortly afterwards began a relationship with the bottle. I was unconfident I suppose & as much as I was into this guy for some reason I didn’t feel truly comfortable when hanging out with him. One evening when he was due to call around I thought why not have a few glasses of wine beforehand to relax the nerves & it worked

So here goes – My first blog ever!! I’m not the best writer but I have a story I want to share with you. It’s a secret story. It all began back in 2003. Back then I was a girl who started a new relationship with a guy & also shortly afterwards began a relationship with the bottle. I was unconfident I suppose & as much as I was into this guy for some reason I didn’t feel truly comfortable when hanging out with him. One evening when he was due to call around I thought why not have a few glasses of wine beforehand to relax the nerves & it worked

Fast forward to 2017 & I  was still hitting the bottle & hiding them until yesterday. In a drunken haze I revealed everything to my husband last night. Of course he had found the empty bottles hidden in my wardrobe within a few months of us living together but I had convinced him I didn’t have a serious problem by lying. He still suspected but later told me he thought it’s her problem she needs to figure it out. I had continued the habit I started at the beginning of that relationship back in 2003 with the following boyfriend & then my husband. It made me feel confident & well less nervous & I enjoyed it. The difference is in that first relationship it was a toxic relationship. My boyfriend was a difficult person. He didn’t like most people & he was a loner. It was me & him against the world. Sexually he wanted me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with. I couldn’t change him or had the strength to leave him so I used alcohol to help me through it. Everything was easier to tolerate when I was intoxicated.

I decided to write this blog to keep me focused on getting better. To hopefully inspire someone else suffering from the same disease I have. I will be honest & share my journey with you. It’s a scary road but I need to travel on it to reach the desired destination.

All the empty bottles have been tossed aside- no more secrets!

Sadie Dee

Author: SadieDee

36 year old married Mother of one child. Alcoholic Use Disorder- in recovery As secret drinker for 13 years. My story of recovery starts here.

2 thoughts on “DAY 1 The Secret Is Out”

  1. Hi there! I just read your post and can I just how brave and strong a woman you are. I am currrently on day 31 and while it is the hardest thing I have ever done, it is the strongest and each day without a drink is like a small victory for me. Hang on in there and try and get some support from AA meetings or similar. Feel free to message me whenever you need to talk to someone who understands.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there,

      Thank you! I really appreciate your support. Well done on 31 days I can’t wait to get to 31. I actually visited my GP last week & told her everything before telling my husband last night. I am going to start counselling I’m just on a waiting list. I don’t feel AA is for me I would prefer one on one. I know this will be a whole lifestyle change as my friends all love to drink & I will need to tell them I no longer drink. Thank you so much & vice versa send me a message if you need a chat.

      Like

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