DAY 1 The Secret Is Out

So here goes – My first blog ever!! I’m not the best writer but I have a story I want to share with you. It’s a secret story. It all began back in 2003. Back then I was a girl who started a new relationship with a guy & also shortly afterwards began a relationship with the bottle. I was unconfident I suppose & as much as I was into this guy for some reason I didn’t feel truly comfortable when hanging out with him. One evening when he was due to call around I thought why not have a few glasses of wine beforehand to relax the nerves & it worked

So here goes – My first blog ever!! I’m not the best writer but I have a story I want to share with you. It’s a secret story. It all began back in 2003. Back then I was a girl who started a new relationship with a guy & also shortly afterwards began a relationship with the bottle. I was unconfident I suppose & as much as I was into this guy for some reason I didn’t feel truly comfortable when hanging out with him. One evening when he was due to call around I thought why not have a few glasses of wine beforehand to relax the nerves & it worked

Fast forward to 2017 & I ¬†was still hitting the bottle & hiding them until yesterday. In a drunken haze I revealed everything to my husband last night. Of course he had found the empty bottles hidden in my wardrobe within a few months of us living together but I had convinced him I didn’t have a serious problem by lying. He still suspected but later told me he thought it’s her problem she needs to figure it out. I had continued the habit I started at the beginning of that relationship back in 2003 with the following boyfriend & then my husband. It made me feel confident & well less nervous & I enjoyed it. The difference is in that first relationship it was a toxic relationship. My boyfriend was a difficult person. He didn’t like most people & he was a loner. It was me & him against the world. Sexually he wanted me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with. I couldn’t change him or had the strength to leave him so I used alcohol to help me through it. Everything was easier to tolerate when I was intoxicated.

I decided to write this blog to keep me focused on getting better. To hopefully inspire someone else suffering from the same disease I have. I will be honest & share my journey with you. It’s a scary road but I need to travel on it to reach the desired destination.

All the empty bottles have been tossed aside- no more secrets!

Sadie Dee